Wednesday, February 10, 2010

An Uncomfortable Look Inside


(Photo from Day 28 of 365)

Recently finished a very challenging, controversial book that has me thinking about the way I talk to my husband. I have, not so fondly, referred to it at times as "THAT BOOK!" It surprised me that I could feel uncomfortable with a book about submission in marriage, the wife's role, and all those other things people rag on Christians for believing, because I do believe in them. But maybe I didn't realize what my less than perfect submission looked like to my less than perfect spouse.

The list of questions that wives ask to be "helpful" but husbands hear as, "Are you stupid?" surprised me. Since I don't believe in veiling criticism with innocent sounding questions, I didn't think I'd hear myself in any of those. But there I was in statements like:

"Are you sure we should spend money on ..." when I really meant, "No Way."

Don't misunderstand, I really don't think it's wrong to ask that question, if that's really what I want to say. But sometimes "Are you sure?" really does mean, "Are you insane?"

The other area of conviction was leading by default. I really do believe in Christian submission. But, I seemed to come out of the box with a viewpoint, purpose, and opinions and my husband is not as quick to form them. This always made following his lead difficult. He just didn't always want to direct things. He'd shrug his shoulders over a problem, I'd wait a moment, with crickets chirping in the silence, then I'd suggest a solution.

Enter THAT BOOK again and the realization that if I waited longer and talked less, his direction might come out. And it has.

It was thought provoking, for sure. But, having said that, I'm not going to run pull my kids out of the public school we prayerfully felt God wants them in just because the author homeschools and insinuates that I would not be "training up [my] child in the way they should go," (Proverbs 22:6) if I didn't.
But I was able to glean much from it and recognize that the extreme sounding nature of the book may be in response to an extremely irresponsible society.

Oh, those ego spankings, even the literary kind, they do hurt. But thank you for it, Father.

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